A Better Version of Me

I've been writing this post in my head for about six months. Ever since the day I decided to run the Chicago Marathon. Or maybe I was writing it even before that. I guess most people would wait to write about their experience AFTER finishing the race, but I already know what I want to say. I am nervous, scared, excited and anxious about tomorrow, but I even if I never cross the finish line on Sunday, I am a winner.

Some of you are old friends who have known me for years. Others, I have met more recently. For those, I will share a little background. 

I was a cheerleader in high school, played one year of softball and never exercised outside of that. Well, I guess I swam occasionally, but that was just for fun. In college, I took tennis (and made the only "C" I ever got at ECU!) and took a few toning classes at the on-campus gym, but that was about it. After college and after I had my children, my weight really got out of hand. 

Me at our Going-Away
Party in Raleigh, December 2009.

I had a family that loved me, a successful career and didn't really worry about my weight. I would sign up for Weight Watchers and do it successfully for a while and then quit. I wasn't happy with the way I looked, but my children were babies and life was busy...it was too hard to find time to do anything about it. 

Before our move to Mt. Airy, I went for an annual physical and my bloodwork showed that I was pre-diabetic. When I was 26, my father died from complications due to a lifetime battling the disease and I was, for the first time, shaken. My doctor said that if I could lose 20 pounds, that would be enough to turn things around. 


After we moved, I had an entirely new life to adjust to. Other than my time at ECU, I had never lived in a place with no family nearby. I had given up my 15-year career in economic development:  one day, I was traveling around the country recruiting medical device companies to the Triangle or speaking to 500 people at the Raleigh Convention Center as the president of Triangle Commercial Real Estate Women and a few months later, I was sitting in a new town vacuuming behind the sofa for the third time that week because I wasn't sure what to do with myself anymore. My identity was shattered. 

Don't get me wrong. Our move to Mt. Airy was a decision Todd and I made together and it is probably one of the best ones we've ever made. However, it wasn't all smooth sailing. I was not always a nice person as I tried to figure out who I was going to be in this next phase of my life. 

I'm not exactly sure how running became the answer or when I even realized what the question was. One day I decided to download the Couch25K app, lace up my tennis shoes and walk out the door. I didn't have any goals; I just did what the voice in my earbud told me to do. That first day, I was supposed to run for 30 seconds and I could barely do it. I couldn't run one block. Not one. Some mornings I would cry when I ran, some mornings I would yell, some days I would pray...and then one day, I felt happy...and strong. Over the next several months, two things happened. I began to figure out who I was again and I also figured out that I wanted to be a better version of that person. 

I lost 50 pounds and 5 dress sizes. I went from not being able to run for 30 seconds to running 5 miles 3 days a week and completing my first half-marathon. More importantly, I became a better wife and a better mother. One day, Todd commented that running had turned me into a "better version of me." I think that pretty much sums it up. 

So...as you are reading this, I am heading out to run my first marathon. 26.2 miles. My only goal is to finish, but finishing will just be the icing on the cake. 

The Road to Chicago Begins

I'll begin my first "official" post with a confession: I am terrified that I have bitten off more than I can chew with this whole Chicago Marathon thing. Winter was not good for me. If I am being completely honest, I've just been lazy. I let the cold and the rain wear me down and instead of hoofing it to the gym for some cross-training, I just pulled up the covers and hibernated...for four straight months...and gained 10 lbs. in the process. Ugh.

Then, in March, I realized that I had a race coming up. Two of my very best friends and I ran the Tarheel 10-Miler together for the first time last year and I knew that it was no easy course. We had decided to make it an annual event, so I pulled myself together, did some training runs and managed to finish it with a better time than last year.

Still representing the Wolfpack at the finish
of the Tarheel 10-Miler in Kenan Stadium

My friends Andrea and Leah enjoying some after-race
painting at Wine & Design in Chapel Hill

However, I also ended up with a foot injury (most likely from poor training combined with over-exertion on race day...apparently, you can't outrun karma). After a couple of weeks off dealing with that while watching the training date for the marathon creeping ever-closer on my calendar, I was really scared. It was time to ask for help.

Me and Kelly enjoying a
beautiful evening at
Round Peak Vineyards

My desperate plea was enthusiastically answered by my friend, Kelly. She talked through my training plan with me, suggested cross-training options and, most importantly, offered to train with me when she could and provide accountability for me on the days that she couldn't. It is amazing what that did for my outlook. I was honest about how scared and unprepared I felt and she met every worry with an encouraging word about how we would overcome it. I feel a later blog post shaping up about running friends...stay tuned.

So began my first official week of marathon training. Here's how the week shaped up:

Sunday - 6 miles
Monday - Stretched at home (I'd like to replace this with a yoga class)
Tuesday - 5 miles
Wednesday - XT/Spin (Kelly's hubby/spy, Andy, was there to make sure I showed!)
Thursday - XT/Boot Camp (Ouch!)
Friday - 3 miles (my short/fast run turned out to be the slowest/hardest of the week)
Saturday - rest (finally!)

Overall, it was a good week. My runs weren't as fast as I would have liked, Boot Camp truly kicked my booty and the long run was much harder than it should have been at this point. However, October 13th is 121 days away and there is nothing I can do about any of that except keep working hard and looking forward. Besides...I really, really want one of those 26.2 stickers for my car.