A Better Version of Me

I've been writing this post in my head for about six months. Ever since the day I decided to run the Chicago Marathon. Or maybe I was writing it even before that. I guess most people would wait to write about their experience AFTER finishing the race, but I already know what I want to say. I am nervous, scared, excited and anxious about tomorrow, but I even if I never cross the finish line on Sunday, I am a winner.

Some of you are old friends who have known me for years. Others, I have met more recently. For those, I will share a little background. 

I was a cheerleader in high school, played one year of softball and never exercised outside of that. Well, I guess I swam occasionally, but that was just for fun. In college, I took tennis (and made the only "C" I ever got at ECU!) and took a few toning classes at the on-campus gym, but that was about it. After college and after I had my children, my weight really got out of hand. 

Me at our Going-Away
Party in Raleigh, December 2009.

I had a family that loved me, a successful career and didn't really worry about my weight. I would sign up for Weight Watchers and do it successfully for a while and then quit. I wasn't happy with the way I looked, but my children were babies and life was busy...it was too hard to find time to do anything about it. 

Before our move to Mt. Airy, I went for an annual physical and my bloodwork showed that I was pre-diabetic. When I was 26, my father died from complications due to a lifetime battling the disease and I was, for the first time, shaken. My doctor said that if I could lose 20 pounds, that would be enough to turn things around. 


After we moved, I had an entirely new life to adjust to. Other than my time at ECU, I had never lived in a place with no family nearby. I had given up my 15-year career in economic development:  one day, I was traveling around the country recruiting medical device companies to the Triangle or speaking to 500 people at the Raleigh Convention Center as the president of Triangle Commercial Real Estate Women and a few months later, I was sitting in a new town vacuuming behind the sofa for the third time that week because I wasn't sure what to do with myself anymore. My identity was shattered. 

Don't get me wrong. Our move to Mt. Airy was a decision Todd and I made together and it is probably one of the best ones we've ever made. However, it wasn't all smooth sailing. I was not always a nice person as I tried to figure out who I was going to be in this next phase of my life. 

I'm not exactly sure how running became the answer or when I even realized what the question was. One day I decided to download the Couch25K app, lace up my tennis shoes and walk out the door. I didn't have any goals; I just did what the voice in my earbud told me to do. That first day, I was supposed to run for 30 seconds and I could barely do it. I couldn't run one block. Not one. Some mornings I would cry when I ran, some mornings I would yell, some days I would pray...and then one day, I felt happy...and strong. Over the next several months, two things happened. I began to figure out who I was again and I also figured out that I wanted to be a better version of that person. 

I lost 50 pounds and 5 dress sizes. I went from not being able to run for 30 seconds to running 5 miles 3 days a week and completing my first half-marathon. More importantly, I became a better wife and a better mother. One day, Todd commented that running had turned me into a "better version of me." I think that pretty much sums it up. 

So...as you are reading this, I am heading out to run my first marathon. 26.2 miles. My only goal is to finish, but finishing will just be the icing on the cake. 

Take a Walk

Often, students ask me why we still read To Kill a Mockingbird. They are insulted by the racial slurs and consider civil rights to be an issue we've put behind us. To some degree, their outlook makes me proud. This generation is far-removed from the time and place in Harper Lee's classic novel. I believe we have good discussion about the importance of understanding how we got from there to here and most students appreciate the conversations we have along the way. However, this book is about so much more than race. 

I could write for days about why I love To Kill a Mockingbird. I cry every semester when I show the courtroom scene and not one teenager in that room dares to laugh at me. Atticus Finch is my hero. More eloquent writers than I have written entire dissertations on his character, but suffice it to say that I believe he embodies qualities which deserve to be praised and taught. 

Earlier this week, a twelve-year-old girl committed suicide after being bullied online by her peers. Investigators say the girl had been "absolutely terrorized on social media" and jumped to her death at an old cement factory. 

This is why I still teach To Kill a Mockingbird. 

In one of the early scenes in the novel, Scout is not happy about her first day of school. Her teacher, Miss Caroline Fisher, is new both to the classroom and the community. When Walter Cunningham doesn't have lunch money, the teacher does what she thinks is kind and offers him a quarter. Scout tries to explain that he won't accept the money and why this is embarrassing to him, but only manages to get herself labeled a troublemaker. In typical Scout fashion, she tells Atticus that she is not going back to school. Ever. 

Atticus patiently sits with Scout and asks her to put herself in Miss Caroline's shoes for a few minutes. To consider things from her perspective. She is a new teacher. Doesn't know anyone in the community. Doesn't understand who is rich and who is poor. Is probably very nervous. Had Scout considered any of that? He says..."You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

This is a fairly minor scene in the scope of the novel, but the message is powerful. By the end, Scout has learned to see the world differently. To look at things through the eyes of Miss Caroline, Walter Cunningham, Tom Robinson and, most poignantly, Boo Radley. 

This week's bullying tragedy in Florida is just one story. Forty-two percent of kids say they have been bullied online and seventy-seven percent say that something mean has been said to them or about them via social media.  There are countless stories. I see them in my own school. If you thought Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter were bad, you should see the conversations taking place on ask.fm. Since it allows users to post comments and send messages anonymously, the vile is unbelievable. Ask your teenager about it.  

I take my job very seriously. I teach students grammar, vocabulary, critical thinking, writing and a myriad of other skills. However, I also feel a great responsibility to use literature to open a dialogue. It can open our minds to new ways of thinking. We can be better than we are today.   

Until my students are willing to take a walk in someone else's shoes...To Kill a Mockingbird is still relevant. 

Until teenagers stop bullying one another...Atticus Finch's message is still needed. 

Until we can be kind to one another...I will still teach this book. 

Peace

Todd, the kids and I had the opportunity to spend the past week at Emerald Isle for our family vacation. We were very fortunate to have great weather all week and the July 4th crowds weren't as bad as we had anticipated. We had lots of fun swimming, skim boarding, watching fireworks on the beach, eating seafood and spending time together. 

Headed to the beach!

While we had a great time and enjoyed our week at the beach, I couldn't wait to get home and see the mountains. For some folks, the ocean is what brings them peace. For me, it is the mountains. It was another rainy day here in Mount Airy, but we jumped in the car anyway and headed up to the Blue Ridge Parkway. 

North Main Street in Mount Airy turns into
Orchard Gap Road which takes you right up to the BRP. 

We saw some wild turkeys and a young buck on our way up to Mabry Mill for a late lunch. I wish I had been quick enough to snap a picture of him. His antlers were small and still fuzzy, but he was awfully handsome. 

Mabry Mill

Eating at Mabry Mill has been on our to-do list since moving up here and we were not disappointed. There were lots of good things on the menu, but they serve breakfast all day so that is what we ordered. There is usually a pretty substantial wait at the restaurant. They can only seat about 50 people at a time, but being patient is worth every minute. Today, they had the windows open so we were able to feel the cool mountain air and hear the rain. It was just like eating on your grandmother's screened porch. 

Todd and Anna Kate being silly while waiting for our food.
This photo makes my heart happy :-)

Todd and the kids ordered buttermilk pancakes, bacon, grits, biscuits & gravy, and hashbrowns. I went with a recommendation from the waitress and ordered the sweet potato pancakes. They were so yummy. I tried as hard as I could to eat all three of them, but gave up after one and a half...they were HUGE! 

Me and my sweet boy

On our way home, we saw a mama deer with her spotted fawn running in the field beside Groundhog Mountain. (I know you think I make this fairy-tale-stuff up, but, I promise, we really saw them!) It was rainy and foggy which made everything even more beautiful to me. 

Groundhog Mountain in the fog.
I wish the photo did it justice. 

Being so close to the mountains and the Blue Ridge Parkway is something I hope I never begin to take for granted. I know which roads around town to take when I'm running errands so that I can catch the best view of the mountains in the distance. Todd and I both will take off for the parkway in a moment's notice just to drive through the dark tunnels of trees and rhododendron. 

Looking down on Mount Airy from one 
of the switchbacks at the top of Orchard Gap Road

Where do you go to tune out the noise of daily life? The beach? The mountains? Your backyard? A nearby river or lake? We all need a place where we can just be still. If you don't have such a place, I'll be glad to let you borrow mine. 

Get Out!!

Sitting under our favorite
oak tree on the BRP 

One of the things we hoped to accomplish by relocating our family to Mount Airy in 2009 was to change our lifestyle...slow things down. We also wanted to spend more time as a family doing things together. Mount Airy is located about 10 miles from the Blue Ridge Parkway which is one of our favorite places to go. Sometimes we'll jump in the car after dinner and ride up there just to watch the sun set.



We also have several state parks right in our backyard: Pilot Mountain, Hanging Rock and Stone Mountain in North Carolina and New River Trail in Virginia, for example. Hiking around the knob at Pilot, swimming in the lake at Hanging Rock, climbing the summit at Stone Mountain and kayaking the New River are just a few of our new favorite pastimes.

Anna Kate on top of  Stone Mountain

Grey is such a comedian :-)

I have never really considered myself an "outdoorsy" person. I grew up camping with my family, but hadn't gone willingly in decades. Now that we were enjoying all these other outdoor activities, Todd and I started talking about going camping. My parents bought Todd a tent for Christmas two years ago. He and Grey put it up in the backyard last summer and we attempted to sleep out there as a trial run. We decided not to put on the rain cover so that we could look out of the screen at the top of the tent and watch the stars. They do that in the movies, right? Well, a sudden rainshower about 10 p.m. put a quick end to that and we all ran for the house as fast as we could go. The tent had to dry out for two days before we could even put it away.


Poor Todd really wanted to try camping again. He kept asking me to look at the calendar and find some dates when we might be able to go. The kids and I decided to surprise him with a Father's Day camping trip to New River Trail. Anna Kate had a swim meet on Saturday morning so Grey was going to get everything ready while Todd and I were at the meet with her. As soon as the meet was over, we would surprise him with the news and head out. 


From there, things went a little awry. Grey did a GREAT job of getting everything ready, but a black snake decided to make an appearance in the garage just as we were getting home so the "surprise" was a little more exciting than I had planned.

Once we loaded the car, made a trip to the grocery store and Wal-mart for last minute items, we were on the road! I had made the reservation online which was simple and easy to do, but the campsite I had selected looked closer to the river on the map. Thankfully, the park staff were very accommodating and allowed us to change campsites without too much difficulty. Being able to hear the river when we sat by the campfire or as we fell asleep was definitely a plus.

The view of the river from our campsite.

Todd and Grey began unpacking the tent and we quickly realized that in all the commotion over the snake in the garage, Todd had forgotten the tent poles. This is the point at which I fell even more in love with my husband. Instead of getting angry or packing the car and saying that we should just go home, he just laughed. Shook his head, laughed and drove 45 minutes home to get the poles. It was a slight detour...not the end of the world. Most obstacles are; I need to remember that.

Getting the tent up was a cause for celebration!

A few hours later, the tent was up, everything was organized and we were grilling our hamburgers over the fire. Dinner was great and then we, of course, made s'mores before going to bed. Sleeping on an air mattress leaves a little to be desired, but overall it wasn't a horrible night. Todd got up early and cooked a great breakfast over the fire, I ran on the trail, Grey rented a bike and Anna Kate went on a horseback ride. 

Cooking over the campfire may have been
the best part of the whole trip!

Running on the New River Trail was
such a peaceful experience. 

I should mention that Foster Falls does not have a bath house. There is a store which sells ice, firewood, a few camping supplies, etc. and there is a glorified outhouse at the campground, but no running water and no electricity at the campsites. It is a beautiful location with lots to do, but I can't really see us camping there for more than a day or two. I was content to let Todd warm some water for me over the fire so that I could rinse off after my run, but doing that for several days in a row might push my camping tolerances. 

After cleaning up the campsite and packing the car, we were back home later that afternoon.  We weren't eaten by bears, no one developed any sort of illness from not bathing and both kids have asked when we can go camping again; that sounds like a successful first experience to me. Take a deep breath, plan an adventure and get out there. Even if you forget the tent poles, you'll be glad you went. 

The Road to Chicago Begins

I'll begin my first "official" post with a confession: I am terrified that I have bitten off more than I can chew with this whole Chicago Marathon thing. Winter was not good for me. If I am being completely honest, I've just been lazy. I let the cold and the rain wear me down and instead of hoofing it to the gym for some cross-training, I just pulled up the covers and hibernated...for four straight months...and gained 10 lbs. in the process. Ugh.

Then, in March, I realized that I had a race coming up. Two of my very best friends and I ran the Tarheel 10-Miler together for the first time last year and I knew that it was no easy course. We had decided to make it an annual event, so I pulled myself together, did some training runs and managed to finish it with a better time than last year.

Still representing the Wolfpack at the finish
of the Tarheel 10-Miler in Kenan Stadium

My friends Andrea and Leah enjoying some after-race
painting at Wine & Design in Chapel Hill

However, I also ended up with a foot injury (most likely from poor training combined with over-exertion on race day...apparently, you can't outrun karma). After a couple of weeks off dealing with that while watching the training date for the marathon creeping ever-closer on my calendar, I was really scared. It was time to ask for help.

Me and Kelly enjoying a
beautiful evening at
Round Peak Vineyards

My desperate plea was enthusiastically answered by my friend, Kelly. She talked through my training plan with me, suggested cross-training options and, most importantly, offered to train with me when she could and provide accountability for me on the days that she couldn't. It is amazing what that did for my outlook. I was honest about how scared and unprepared I felt and she met every worry with an encouraging word about how we would overcome it. I feel a later blog post shaping up about running friends...stay tuned.

So began my first official week of marathon training. Here's how the week shaped up:

Sunday - 6 miles
Monday - Stretched at home (I'd like to replace this with a yoga class)
Tuesday - 5 miles
Wednesday - XT/Spin (Kelly's hubby/spy, Andy, was there to make sure I showed!)
Thursday - XT/Boot Camp (Ouch!)
Friday - 3 miles (my short/fast run turned out to be the slowest/hardest of the week)
Saturday - rest (finally!)

Overall, it was a good week. My runs weren't as fast as I would have liked, Boot Camp truly kicked my booty and the long run was much harder than it should have been at this point. However, October 13th is 121 days away and there is nothing I can do about any of that except keep working hard and looking forward. Besides...I really, really want one of those 26.2 stickers for my car. 

Changing Directions

Photo courtesy of
Mandi Murfin Photography

I've been threatening to start a blog for quite a while now, but the time has finally come. There are many, many subjects floating around in my mind and most of them involve our family's relocation from Raleigh to Mount Airy, North Carolina just over three years ago. It was a purposeful, strategic move and probably one of the best decisions we've ever made. That is not to say that we haven't experienced some significant bumps along the way, but I am thankful every day that we were able to make this change.

In addition to our move, I also changed careers. After 15 years in economic development in Raleigh, I quit my job for the move. When we first moved to Mount Airy, I had the opportunity to take a break for about 7 months, focus on getting us all settled in a new place and figure out what I wanted to do next. The opportunity to get back into teaching presented itself and Mount Airy has one of the best high schools in the country, so I decided to go back into the classroom after a short 15-year break. As you can imagine, that has been another huge life-changing experience which I'm sure I'll wax philosophical about at some point as well. 

Finally, I decided that changing my hometown and my career wasn't enough. I also wanted to lose weight and become more physically active. (How I went about getting started will be another blog post for another day.) I made a list of all the things I had tried in the past or knew I wouldn't stick with for more than a week and ended up with a very short list of options. (Honest self-assessment is one of my strengths.) I ultimately decided to try running and began the Couch to 5K program in July 2011. I lost 50 pounds and ran the Mayberry Half Marathon last November. I still don't really consider myself a "runner" most days, but running has definitely changed me. 

And so we begin...