A Better Version of Me

I've been writing this post in my head for about six months. Ever since the day I decided to run the Chicago Marathon. Or maybe I was writing it even before that. I guess most people would wait to write about their experience AFTER finishing the race, but I already know what I want to say. I am nervous, scared, excited and anxious about tomorrow, but I even if I never cross the finish line on Sunday, I am a winner.

Some of you are old friends who have known me for years. Others, I have met more recently. For those, I will share a little background. 

I was a cheerleader in high school, played one year of softball and never exercised outside of that. Well, I guess I swam occasionally, but that was just for fun. In college, I took tennis (and made the only "C" I ever got at ECU!) and took a few toning classes at the on-campus gym, but that was about it. After college and after I had my children, my weight really got out of hand. 

Me at our Going-Away
Party in Raleigh, December 2009.

I had a family that loved me, a successful career and didn't really worry about my weight. I would sign up for Weight Watchers and do it successfully for a while and then quit. I wasn't happy with the way I looked, but my children were babies and life was busy...it was too hard to find time to do anything about it. 

Before our move to Mt. Airy, I went for an annual physical and my bloodwork showed that I was pre-diabetic. When I was 26, my father died from complications due to a lifetime battling the disease and I was, for the first time, shaken. My doctor said that if I could lose 20 pounds, that would be enough to turn things around. 


After we moved, I had an entirely new life to adjust to. Other than my time at ECU, I had never lived in a place with no family nearby. I had given up my 15-year career in economic development:  one day, I was traveling around the country recruiting medical device companies to the Triangle or speaking to 500 people at the Raleigh Convention Center as the president of Triangle Commercial Real Estate Women and a few months later, I was sitting in a new town vacuuming behind the sofa for the third time that week because I wasn't sure what to do with myself anymore. My identity was shattered. 

Don't get me wrong. Our move to Mt. Airy was a decision Todd and I made together and it is probably one of the best ones we've ever made. However, it wasn't all smooth sailing. I was not always a nice person as I tried to figure out who I was going to be in this next phase of my life. 

I'm not exactly sure how running became the answer or when I even realized what the question was. One day I decided to download the Couch25K app, lace up my tennis shoes and walk out the door. I didn't have any goals; I just did what the voice in my earbud told me to do. That first day, I was supposed to run for 30 seconds and I could barely do it. I couldn't run one block. Not one. Some mornings I would cry when I ran, some mornings I would yell, some days I would pray...and then one day, I felt happy...and strong. Over the next several months, two things happened. I began to figure out who I was again and I also figured out that I wanted to be a better version of that person. 

I lost 50 pounds and 5 dress sizes. I went from not being able to run for 30 seconds to running 5 miles 3 days a week and completing my first half-marathon. More importantly, I became a better wife and a better mother. One day, Todd commented that running had turned me into a "better version of me." I think that pretty much sums it up. 

So...as you are reading this, I am heading out to run my first marathon. 26.2 miles. My only goal is to finish, but finishing will just be the icing on the cake.